February 2, 1968, Tet Offensive, and Me
September 17, 2026
by William P. Meyers

Site Search

Popular pages:

Losing faith, gaining knowledge

February 2, 1983 was my 13th birthday. I have no particular recollection of that day, but it was during a crucial period of my life. I was in 8th grade, still attending Catholic school. It was about the time that I became sure that Catholicism, and Christianity in general, were a pack of lies. I did not yet know that the following year I would be at secular school, which would be life-changing for me. I typically watched the evening news on television, so I knew the Tet Offensive of the Vietnam War had started. I was still very much an American patriot, militarist, and anti-communist.

This was all brought back to mind when I purchased, used, a copy of Mark Bowden's Hue 1968, A Turning Point of the American War in Vietnam, at my favorite local bookstore, Third Place Books.

Tet is the Vietnamese Lunar New Year, a holiday when normally fighting was paused in the civil war in South Vietnam. On January 31, 1968, troops from North Vietnam and their Viet Cong allies in the south launched a large-scale offensive. They hoped the entire nation would rebel against the Roman Catholic regime in Saigon and its American (formerly French) overlords. It was a shock to Americans, who had been told they were winning the war against the evil communists. But America controlled the air, and with the South Vietnamese Army pushed back successfully. But in the city of Hue, this took several weeks, and the city was largely destroyed in the process.

Both my parents had been Marines, my mother just for 2 years during World War II, my father for 22 years before he retired. Both had been from dirt-poor families, but now were firmly middle class, or upper-working class (Mom was a typist, Dad had two jobs, teaching high school math and doing paperwork for a cargo shipping company).

I did not know the history of Vietnam, no did I care to. History for me was mainly about fighting the battles of World War II against Japan and Germany. I understood communism as some sort of atheist dictatorship. I cannot say exactly what made me turn against the Catholic Church, but probably it was mainly my interest in science and rational thought. Perhaps some of the science fiction I read. Perhaps, having protestant acquaintances who I liked, not liking the constant anti-Jewish, anti-Protestant propaganda we were fed. I did not know, then, that Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini were both Catholics. Maybe, too, it was my love of satire, including three TV Shows of the era: The Monkees, The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, and (post-Tet) Rowan and Martin's Laugh-in.

I did not like the idea that America could lose a war to our communist enemy. When President Lyndon Johnson said we beat them in the Tet battle and they were on their last legs, I believed him.

Meanwhile, people were dying in Hue.

North Vietnamese troops were dying. Viet Cong soldiers were dying. South Vietnamese soldiers were dying. U.S. Marines and Army soldiers were dying. And a lot of civilians were dying. Some civilians, members or supporters of the government of South Vietnam, were dying. So were supporters of the Viet Cong. But mostly civilians were caught in the cross fire, mostly from American air strikes and heavy artillery, but also from bullets. Hue 1968 does a great job telling this story, giving mini biographies of many individuals on both sides before those fatal days.

I was buried so deep in the mud of American propaganda that it took me quite a while to work through the many lies I had been taught were truths. On February 2, 1968, I was confused about racism. Were black people inferior or not? Martin Luther King seemed pretty smart, and I certainly knew plenty of white idiots, but I was still in flux. What about women? I still thought they were inferior to men, generally speaking. Homosexuals? I did not believe they were real, just a sort of way to put down men by calling them feminine.

About two years later, as late as the fall of 1970, when asked in history class what I felt about the Vietnam War, I said we should nuke Hanoi. Seriously. By then I was certain I was an atheist, but certainly knew communists, or anyone anti-American, was evil.

But as time passed facts kept burning their way through my consciousness. One really decisive turning point for me was reading The Autobiography of Malcolm X. Assigned for English class. I was affected by reading a detailed U.S. history book. And I kept hearing about protestors on the national news on TV. The protests of the civil rights movement, women's movement, and at the 1968 Democratic National Convention all had their effect.

My parents seemed impervious. They grew up in a different era. They kicked me out of the family when I was 17, so I supported myself as best I could.

I am not sure if the Tet Offensive of 1968 was a turning point for me personally, or if it just coincided with a broad period of my learning to think for myself.

People start in very different places, both within American society and in the world as a whole. Some people are fine with their childhood indoctrination, others are uneasy, and some rebel. Waking up from ancient, out-of-touch cultures can be painful. But I recommend making an effort.

Thanks to the people of Vietnam for standing up for themselves and showing me the light. And I want to express sympathy for the young men of America who have been sent abroad, to Vietnam and other nations, to fight wars of aggression by idiotic American presidents. I almost became one of them.