Anchor Baby Story
July 7, 2018
by William P. Meyers

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Yes, lefty friends, people really have anchor babies

I try to be fact based. That is why I have so few readers: facts upset people of all sorts. Political left, right and center. It is just that they are upset by different facts.

I will call my source Mrs. E.

E is for Ethiopia, but it could just as well be for Eritrea or Estonia. Or for almost any country that is poor enough that getting started in the U.S. is an attractive option.

Mrs. E has three children, only one of whom I have met. I did not interrogate Mrs. E, so some interesting details are left out of her story, so far anyway.

I do not know exactly how or why the E. family decided to leave Ethiopia for the United States. Nor do I know why Mrs. E and her first two children where allowed to legally immigrate into the U.S., while this was denied to Mr. E. I believe Mrs. E was helped to come here by a Christian missionary group, but that is because I have met others East Africans who have talked about that.

In any case Mrs. E has a government subsidized apartment in a city, Seattle, where many thousands of citizens born in this country are homeless. This is actually quite common in Seattle. Openings in public housing are often reserved for people like Mrs. E, according to my sources.

While Mr. E cannot come to the United States, Mrs. E can and does visit him on occasion in Ethiopia.

The E family has a plan for uniting in America and then getting ahead.

On her last visit to Ethiopia, Mrs. E got pregnant by her husband. She has since had the baby, born in the U.S. I am guessing the costs were paid by American taxpayers, but perhaps Mr. E sent money for medical bills; I have not asked.

The new baby, who I will call Baby U.S., is an American citizen under the U.S. Constitution.

I did not ask Mrs. E's immigration status. It is almost certainly legal, but I don't know if she came in under a quota or as a refugee.

Mrs. E did not describe a clear plan for legal immigration for Mr. E. I am guessing he will keep applying until he gets a visa. That would make it possible to get a legal job in the U.S. Maybe the E's figure when Trump is cast out, Baby U.S. will be reason enough to grant Mr. E a permanent legal immigrant visa.

The E family will probably make good U.S. citizens. They are ambitious, and they think long-term. Their children, I would bet, will go to college.

Anti-immigration conservatives will not like the E family, but they will like the facts described here. U.S. taxpayer money is being wasted on the E's, in their view. My story proves they are right and voters should rebel against the immigrant-loving, American-hating Democrats.

Pro-immigration liberals will like the E family, but they will not like my describing the facts here. They want to keep the thousands of immigrants like the E's out of the current big debate on homelessness in Seattle. Because obviously there are thousands of government-subsidized apartments that could be used to house Seattle's homeless U.S. citizens. Except they are filled.

Liberals would argue that there would be plenty of housing for both immigrants and natives if we could tax the rich more, or not spend so much on the military.

And lets face it: the both the Trump and traditional Republican conservatives might use this kind of story to whip up nationalism, but if they had full control would have public housing for no one. The Dickensian nightmare is their wet dream.

Welcome to America, Mrs. E. Hope your plan works and Baby U.S. and your other children become doctors, lawyers, engineers, or really rich people. Of course, they might become starving English Literature majors, criminals, or drug addicts. You never know.

Another thing, suppose you were not a nationalist and had to choose who to keep in the U.S. and who to dump in Ethiopia or some other third-world hardship country. Wouldn't you keep Mrs. E, and dump the American and middle-class born alcoholics and drug addicts?

See? Facts piss people off. So do certain hard questions.

As Reinhold Niebuhr said (of John Foster Dulles, but it applies generally):

"Self-righteousness is the inevitable fruit of simple moral judgments."