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Long, Hot Summer of Apps
July 10, 2012
by William P. Meyers
Also sponsored by Left Wing at PeacefulJewelry
Popular pages:
| U.S. War Against Asia |
| Fascism |
| Barack Obama |
| Democratic Party |
| Republican Party |
| Natural Liberation |
Right now, some of the smartest people on the planet are hunkered down in Silicon Valley and a dozen other entrepreneurial hotspots trying to figure out how to improve smartphone hardware and software. "Improve" here means getting it, The Cloud, and its swarm of Devices, to become more efficient at parting everyone else from their e-money. They have been inspired by the new Robber Barons, sometimes called by name but more often simply associated with corporations: Zynga and Facebook and Square and LinkedIn and a hundreds of others, whose fans all act surprised when you have not heard of them, much less have used them.
Given the way the world is headed, here are some Apps you can expect to see soon:
WaterUp will tell you where you can find potable water once the electricity grid goes down for the last time. It will guide you to the nearest pond or stream, based on GPS, which should keep working because the GPS satellite system works on solar energy. You can even agree with groups of friends in advance where to meet up!
TeaPartyIn provides an endless loop of helpful reminders that weather fluctuates naturally and all societal problems, including your being unemployed, hot, hungry, and thirsty is the fault of Communists in the government. Show a little enterprise! If you got corpses, open a hamburger stand.
BadaBingo turns your iFad tablet or phone into a three-card monte table. Whatever the chumps have left to bet with can be yours. Use WaterUp to find a good location early.
MyTurret allows your device to control the aim of the armament of your choice, whether mounted to the roof of your car or at the entrance to your home. Be sure to stock up on ammo, they won't be making more once the music stops.
OpenSourceUniversalApp will monitor the Cloud to determine when the government and multinational corporations are no longer functioning well enough to enforce their laws or property rights. It will then download every book ever written, song ever recorded, movie ever distributed (including porn), and App ever made be greedy geeks to you device. You can have all that entertainment at your fingertips. Until your battery needs recharging.