Barry Bonds and George Bush
November 16, 2007
by William P. Meyers

I was just listening to the radio (old fashioned FM) while eating my breakfast oatmeal and heard that baseball star Barry Bonds could get thirty years in jail for lying to a grand jury. Apparently he took some steroids. That is considered cheating in major league sports, but baseball leagues don't run prison systems. The U.S. government is going after Bonds for lying. The U.S. government likes to maintain a monopoly on lying.

 

George W. Bush, President of the United States, has lied with a frequency and a fervor that are impressive even for a President of the United States. He said Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, and he bombed Iraq back to the age of the Prophet based on that lie. He said he'd get prayer in school and end abortions. I don't mind those lies quite as much because he was lying to Christians and I figure that is fair enough. You can't get an abortion in Iraq anymore, and they are praying to Allah in the schools there now, so at least he's made progress elsewhere on his election pledges, if not in the U.S.A.

 

Politicians aren't supposed to lie under oath, but apparently their oath of office does not count the same way an oath before a grand jury or a court counts. Lying during election campaigns, among politicians, is considered a virtue, especially by fat cat campaign donors.

 

Of course I am only using Bush and Bonds as examples. President Clinton lied during his testimony about some bimbo or another, which does not seem to be on quite the same scale as a lie of mass destruction. I don't remember Bill Clinton going to jail for lying. Maybe Barry Bonds should hire Bill's lawyer. "When I said I did not use steroids, of course I knew my body is a manly example of natural steroids, and I meant that any steroids that were outside my body were outside my body and any steroids that were inside my body were inside my body." I mean what does the word "lie" mean, anyway? What is "truth?" What is "swear?" What is "is?"

 

Some of my friends, about 50 million of them, want for Congress to impeach Bush. Most of those friends are just Democrats who want to get back at the Republicans for impeaching Bill Clinton. But the Republicans were just getting back at the Democrats for impeaching Richard Nixon. Some would say this cycle of violence has to stop, but I say: impeach them all. After Congress impeaches Bush for lying and committing war crimes, Congress can impeach itself for lying and committing war crimes.

 

Why, if prominent politicians didn't constantly lie to the American public we might end up in a state of anarchy.

 

I met an honest politician once. He had run for office four times. He was never elected. Some of the voters appreciated his honesty, but they voted for one or other of his flatterer opponents. The truth is just too painful for people to want to hear it more often than once in a blue moon.

 

But the good news is they play baseball in prison. Barry Bonds will be one valuable asset.

 

Can you imagine George W. Bush in prison? How about Bill Clinton? I will leave you with those cheery thoughts.

 

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