The Vatican Rag

Catholic Inquisition Targets U.S. Nuns

Friday, July 3, 2009

Catholic Nuns in the United States are complaining that they are being investigated by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, formerly known as the Inquisition.

Apparently the women's movement influences of the 1960's and 1970's have weakened to the point that the current Pope, Benedict XVI, an ex-Nazi-Youth member, feels he can return these women's religious orders back to medieval mindsets. Which is simply part of his program to do the same for the entire Roman Catholic Church.

A Cardinal Levada, head of the Inquisition, I mean Congregation, accused these female Church employees of: failing to promote the idea of the male-only priesthood, failing to stone homosexuals to death, and failing to tell everyone that if you die and you are not a paid-up member of the Roman Catholic Church, you go straight to hell. No realizing your mistake in the afterlife and converting then, mind you.

What did the Sisters expect? They belong to the same religion as Mussolini, Hitler, Petain and General Franco. It is surprising they were not given the choice of recanting feminism or being burned at the stake back in the 1980's when the Church started reversing its modernizing course.

What else have the nuns done wrong? Some, in ministering to the sick, have adopted oriental therapies like Reiki. Here's a way around that: do the exact same thing, but rename it Blessed Virgin Mary Massage.

There are only 60,000 Catholic nuns still living in the United States. It is not a popular profession. The priesthood has become unpopular lately too, now that the Church has been forced by public opinion to temporarily crack down on the father-asty thingy. But here's an idea: women can't be priests, but why can't men be nuns? I know a bunch of guys in San Francisco who would happy to be paid to dress up as nuns, whereas right now they do it voluntarily. No, that would be innovation, unless their is a precedent from the Middle Ages.

Maybe the nuns should sue for back pay. Don't U.S. civil rights laws say women get equal pay as men, and organizations can't have male-only jobs? Let me guess (since this is the Internet and actually researching a subject for accurate information is suspect) that the Catholic Church, courtesy of various craven politicians, had a loophole written into the laws involved.

I think any religion in the U.S. that pays its employees should make all positions open to both sexes. No religion should get tax exempt status if it violates that basic rule.

It seems to me that Catholic sisters who are no medieval nut cases should just leave the Church.

Send out your resumes, and as soon as you have landed a job, tell the Pope to "take this job and shove it." Take as many Catholics as you can with you.

You will feel a whole lot better if you do.

William P. Meyers